Tord in Kazakhstan

[Chime intro plays]

Tord: [voiceover] My name? I'm Tord Larsson. I'm thirteen now, and I like animation! I'm about to go to Kazakhstan! I don't have a NLG/SLG place yet, but I don't care much about that. And today is the first day of the new school year! [yelling] Mom! I'm ready for school!

Nora: [exasperated shout] It's Sunday! Go back to bed!

Tord: Never mind that!

[Tord in Kazakhstan jingle plays]

[Refrigerator motor running]

Tord: [gasps] [sips through the straw] [swallows] [sighs] Hm? [gasps] [rages into mental breakdown] Mo-o-om!

Game announcer: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Nora: Tord? [game pausing SFX] I have something for you!

Tord: Huh? What is it?

Nora: It's your father's old video game machine. I found it in the attic. Oh, me and him used to play this all the time when we were your age. [giggles] And I think it still works!

Tord: Oh, cool! Can I play on it?

Nora: Of course you can, Sweetie!

Tord: JA! [happy chiptune jungle]

Elaina: [singsong] Have fun!

[Button Mash flips the switch] [Machine hums loudly] [Button Mash taps the glass]

Tord: [confused] Is it-is it broken? Mom? Hm...

[Blipping noises] ["Game over" noise]

Tord: ...Arongere?

[Dramatic music] [Train noises]

Tord: Choo-choo! [mumbles train noises] CHOO!

[Flames erupt]

Tord: [confused] I, uh...allright...

Shop  owner: (voiced by GeorgeGanka) Order up!

Tord: [rapidly] Milkshake race, 1 2 3 GO! [slurping through the straw] [screams in agony] Mom, have you seen my JoyBoy?

Nora: It's in my room, Sweetie. You must take better care of your things when you put them down. I nearly fell over this morning.

Tord: Thanks, Mom! Now, I just wish I knew where my-

[Loud crash]

Tord: [yelps in pain] Found it! [gasps] Hm?

[Spy jazz playing]

Tord: [muttering approval]

Nora: Sweetie, do you want any ketchup with your-

Tord: [awkwardly] Uh... Hello, mođer.

Nora: [flatly] Take that off. That's your father's.

Tord: [whining] But I look so COOL!?

Nora: [chastising] Tord, I said-

Tord: I'm not "Tord" anymore, Mom. I am...The 'Stache.

Nora: [facepalms]

Flower Gril: [slurping the milkshake]

Tord: [agonized scream] OW! OW! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! [sobbing] [normal] Oh, hey, a bit!

[Video game BGM playing]

Nora: Tord, Sweetie! It's time for school!

Tord: [vacantly] Uh-huh, give me a minute.

Nora: ...Haven't you been up all night?

Tord: [mumbling] No, it's okay. The cat's got it with the salad.

Nora: ...What?

Tord: I already put-I-I-I-the French toast.

Nora: [stern] Button!

[Game powers off]

Nora: This is getting ridiculous. You stay up all night and you-

[Portable video game BGM]

Nora: Tord, stop. It's gonna mess with your head.

Tord: [rapid, indistinct whining] But, Mom, I need to fight the coherds to save the village of Borat if I want any luck in defeating the alixes of Matthewese Kazakhstan?!

Nora: [shakes off confusion] No. Go to school. NOW.

Tord: [Matthew Kazakh] Olumbo no ara sūm, ektum kai. [translation] I will slay you, She-Devil.

Nora: [Matthew Kazakh] Řry tee den, tên kaflora. [translation] You're nothing without me. [English] I was young once, too, you know. Oh! And by the way-[Matthew Kazakh] Řry tee blýn. [English] You're grounded.

Tord: [yelps in pain] Żėkamìħḟ! Agh! [translation] F**k! Argh!